Do you feel misunderstood sometimes? Or notice odd nuances that make you feel different than others, and you cannot quite put your finger on it. Or you have not been able to express yourself emotionally for the majority of your life?
Maybe you see other people expressing themselves and getting much further and experiencing deeper connections in their relationships.
There is a high possibility you are actually a highly-developed, highly-sensitive, and intuitive person and maybe like me on the neurodiverse scale ( all the best people are 🙂 #bias ) and often you may be at the detriment of your own high intellect or massive capabilities or awareness
There are some easy steps to follow to stop your head holding you back.
You cannot think or talk more into being a better communicator. The truth is quite the contrary; the art of communication is to think less, feel more, ask more, and listen more.
What if you have built a wall? A wall of information and subsequent patterns of behaviour, based on a belief system that has taken years to formulate.
You’ve ingrained self-limiting beliefs that can be less than helpful, and can literally limit the energy at which you communicate. This creates a disconnect on how you feel, how you communicate, and how it is actually being received by others. The consequence of this is a developing sense of loneliness.
No amount of knowledge and learning can get you out of this sense of feeling alone; the key to making connections is to be empathetic. The more aware you become of the person’s feelings behind their words, the more you begin to read their energy and that is where the magic happens and you sense to see and feel so much more, like a beautiful dance with a soul mate under the deep haze of the moon!
The more conscious we become in conversation the more the atmosphere can be read, the layers of truth, the other persons consciousness is at play with yours, and so are the laws of attraction.
The more you follow my 10 tips below the more you will begin to sense the vibrations at which someone is at, and the emotions at which they are communicating. For example, have you ever noticed when someone is really trying to impress you, they are telling you an in-depth story for a very long time but they then fail to ask how you felt about it or engage in any depth at all, then you have to know they are trying their best to do what they feel is right yet there is a mild disappointment that washes over you at the lack of a two-way conversation.
Or are you the one doing all of the talking and noticing the other person losing interest? Or you walk away from a conversation not having learnt anything more than you already know
Here are my 10 observations that will have you communicating like a hungry for love Lion who always gets the lionesses swooning at his pre-game propositions!
1. Give everyone 5 minutes – Take time to be really present, breathe, be prepared to be fully engaged, slow down, and listen with no attachment to the outcome. Allow the flow and do not have any expectations, and make that 5 minutes about them and not you, and see what kind of empathy, information, and interaction you attract.
2. Exciting and nervous carry the same vibration – Both feelings can create the same level of nervous energy; that means you are not centred when you communicate. BREATHE and pause for breath
4. Don’t feel like a freak when socialising or networking – Set your key three statements that you want people to be aware of, and then let go. Be prepared to hold space for anyone you speak to, ask them about themselves, and soften the communication with kindness or a compliment. Do not react with a ‘me too’ and tirade of memories, YAWN!
5. When you are giving advice they didn’t ask for – watch for the ‘GLAZE EFFECT’– Be aware of a number ways that you may cause people to lose interest; firstly if you give advice that has not been asked for and subsequently project your own story on them.
6. Let me explain ‘Drone Energy’. If you want to keep a person interested and feel acknowledged you need to notice when you are not coming from the heart. If you go into far too much depth for a conversation, check into whether you are being kind, if you are using them as a sounding board, or if you are trying to prove your worth. If any of these are a yes then check you are not being a drone who is just streaming consciousness because if you are, both people will leave that conversation dissatisfied.
7. Speak your truth Heart VS Head – This is not always easy especially when emotions get involved, try to respond not react and know there is nothing wrong with allowing time to allow things to settle in feel into it rather than think it. It is always better to say ‘‘I will come back to you’’ than ‘sound off’ with an uncalled-for trigger reaction. Easier said than done you say! I hear you!
8. Do not underestimate peoples ability to smell BS. The more authentic you are with your answers the more people can fall into trust with you. and the more you are yourself the more you will attract the people best suited to you. Also, if you take time to slow down and not react, take the space if you are feeling into a situation rather than thinking it.
9 . Speak less, hear more – 80% listening is key If you acknowledge and take a deeper dive into an aspect of a conversation, then you are telling the person that you are interested in every aspect of them. Remember, no one has ever learnt anything from listening to the sound of their own voice. Always seek to understand other peoples perspectives as it is only you that loses out if you don’t. If you are talking more than 20% find a reason to gaffer tape your mouth. You will thank me later I promise.
10 . Learn the vibration of the words you use and the emotions attached – Every word we use carries an energetic frequency as a vibration and that can have a positive or negative effect on us, as the user of that word whether in thought or as we verbalise it. This vibration will determine how the receiver of that word interprets you, your communication and your overall attitude and wellbeing.